News 13 Alert

And notes dressed up like Eskimos. . . .

Read it ‘n’ weep, all you Bolt Bashers holding out hope for a Broncos division title: the Chargers have won 15 consecutive games in December. . . .

Then you have the Performers formerly known as the Steelers. It’s one thing to miss Troy Polamalu. It’s another thing to play like his hair-dresser. . . .

One more loss by the Steelers and those rumors will start surfacing again about the Pirates still playing in Pittsburgh. . . .

News: Sammy Sosa fails to show in Dominican court to defend himself against lawsuit. Views: Hey, you’d hide too if your facial gook made you a dead ringer for the Ghost of Christmas Past. . . .

Congrats to Tom Brady and his lovely bride, Gisele Bundchen, for the birth of a son. Get ready, Stetson Man. You’re about to get less sleep than Tiger’s been getting the past few years. . . .

Random thought while being bombarded with the latest Tiger tales: Is he practicing safe golf? . . .

Two from the e-mail bag: “We all knew Tiger was looking to break all kinds of records. We just didn’t know that one of them was Wilt’s.” and: “Did you hear? Tiger’s wife has volunteered to perform his next knee surgery.” . . .

Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery for Greg Oden. I would say I feel your pain, bubba, but I don’t. a dislocated kneecap? I writhe in agony when I dislocated my keys. . . .

If you’ve lost your scorecoard, that’s a clean sweep in football and hoops for CSU over CU. But don’t take it too hard, Buffs fans. Jeff Bzdelik says they were 10 hoops away from pulling off the victory. . . .

Point spread from the Woulda Coulda Bowl: My boys in Vegas tell me Alabama would have been a 7-point favorite over Texas Christian. . . .

So Randy Moss got kicked out of the Pats’ training facility for getting caught in traffic and being late for a team meeting. Dude, next time borrow Adrian Peterson’s Beemer. . . .

This just in. Raiders front-office employees threw former assistant coach Randy Hanson a party earlier this week after Hanson rejoined the team. Tom Cable, meanwhile, threw him a left hook. . . .

Golden oldie quote from legendary coach John Heisman in honor of the award bestowed in his name: “Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.” . . .

Add Heisman: the two things we can rest assured of are: 1) Nebraska’s Ndamukong Suh won’t win it, and 2) Nobody asked the Texas offensive linemen for their opinions. . . .

Barry Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris, announced to the world the other day that his client is finished playing major-league baseball. Really? how many trees had to die to put out that press release. . . .

More bombshells from the Bonds camp: Elvis is still dead, and the government is still levying taxes. . . .

MLB held its annual winter meetings at Indianapolis this week. what, Anchorage was booked? . . .

Sorry, but they don’t have enough pizza to make me watch the Papajohns.com Bowl. the Winninglotto- numbers.com Bowl, maybe we can talk. . . .

Wake up the echoes? how about wake up the country when Notre Dame wins a bowl game worth winning. . . .

Great news for Cubs employees. the company is planning two holiday parties this year. one for the holidays, the other for the day they dump Milton Bradley. . . .

They say it’s your birthday: Hoops Hall of Famer Bob Pettit (77); a soon-to-be former Rockie, Garrett Atkins (30); a could-be future Rockie, Orlando Hudson (32), and the voice on the Christmas CD, Frank Sinatra (94).

Jim Armstrong: 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com or catch him weekdays 7-10 a.m. on the Score with Armstrong and Shapiro on Mile High Sports Radio-1510 AM.

Schlereth now with Tigers

Daniel Schlereth’s whirlwind tour of the big leagues continues.

First, he was a No. 1 draft choice. then he was a rookie with the Diamondbacks. and now he’s a Tiger.

So much for all those trips to Arizona his parents were going to make to watch him pitch. the consolation prize is this: He wasn’t considered a throw-in in the three-team deal among the Yankees, D-backs and Tigers, the one that sent Curtis Granderson to the Yankees.

“Jim Leyland said, ‘The deal will not go through if we don’t get Schlereth in return,’ ” said Schlereth’s father, mark, the former Bronco-turned-ESPN analyst. “Leyland told him, ‘Listen, man, I wouldn’t have made it if we didn’t get you. You’re that valuable to me.’ Whether that’s true or not, it made Daniel feel better about the trade.”

Schlereth’s role in Detroit?

“We’ve heard they’d like to groom him to be the closer,” mark Schlereth said. “But that’s what the Diamondbacks said.”

Daniel Schlereth endured your basic roller-coaster ride as a rookie, striking out 22 in 18 1/3 innings but racking up a 5.89 ERA and losing four of five decisions.

Five fearless predictions

Unlike most years, suspense will fill the air tonight in New York when the Heisman Trophy winner is announced. here are five fearless prognostications for what will transpire during the ceremony:

5. Tim Tebow will cry before the winner is announced.

4. Tim Tebow will cry after the winner is announced.

3. Ndamukong Suh will cry all the way to the bank after finishing third in the balloting.

2. Colt McCoy will make it to the podium to accept the award, marking the first time in a week he had eluded Suh’s rush.

1. Four sportswriters interviewed after the ceremony will admit they wanted to vote for Suh, but couldn’t spell his name.

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